Jacqueline woke up from a restless sleep and jumped out of bed, running to the privy with all the fear and excitement of a school girl on the first day of a new year. Barely brushing her teeth and hair, she slapped on a woolly toque she had knitted herself when life wasn’t nearly this interesting. Hopping around like a mad court jester, Jacqueline struggled with her leggings and just about fastened her long, white conservative dress into place before stopping to catch her breath.
Jacqueline now had purpose in her life. These strange visions of death and decay she’d been having of late had finally turned up something of value to the world. A vision of evil men doing terrible things… things that might do harm to a lot of innocent lives if left unchecked.. Things that might be stopped if swift action were taken.
Taking off from her wardrobe at a slow sprint, Jacqueline raced into the kitchen, opened her refrigerator and retrieved an orange for breakfast. She began to peel it and then put it down on the counter panic rising quickly in her mind’s eye.
There’s no time!!
She grabbed her notebook and lucky black ebony pen. She once had a matching ivory for the set but the ivory trade was far too despicable to hold onto that thing disgusting relic. Cramming her notebook into a large frilled and flowery purse, Jacqueline raced out the front door, barely slowing down to put on her jacket.
She raised a hand to the street to hail a cab when the back of her head suddenly exploded into a chaotic display of marble, bone and brain. A large marble statue of a man contemplating something very important had fallen from its place on the rooftop above her apartment door. Jacqueline had always feared the look on the statue’s face, assuming he was contemplating something both selfish and cruel.
The statue had hit Jacqueline squarely on the head and was so heavy that as it fell, it proceeded to force its way down the poor woman’s body in as violent a manner as possible. After pulverizing Jacqueline’s head to a unrecognizable pulp, the statue continued downwards, shattering her spine and crumpling the poor woman into a pile of bloody meat on her own front step. The impact killed her immediately.
Jacqueline wakes up from a restless sleep and jumps out of bed, running to the privy with all the fear and excitement of a school girl on the first day of a new year. Barely brushing her teeth and hair, she slapped on a woolly toque she had knitted herself when life wasn’t nearly this interesting. Hopping around like a mad court jester, Jacqueline struggled with her leggings and barely fastened her long, white conservative dress into place before stopping to catch her breath.
She squinted and looked around her apartment a strong sense of déjà vu creeping up her spine. She walked slowly to the kitchen and opened up her refrigerator. She grabbed two eggs which she cracked slowly into a pan. She stirred them with a dab of milk watching with a strange fascination as the proteins in the egg coagulated together. She had just seasoned and plated her scrambled eggs when a terrible crash from outside shook her whole apartment.
She got up and ran to her front door. A marble statue had fallen from her roof and shattered into a thousand pieces on her front stoop. Jacqueline smiled. She had always hated that statue.
Humming softly to herself. Jacqueline calmly packs for her trip to San Francisco.
I think we’ll leave tomorrow…
Turn 1 Action Phase
Action 1: Rest and flip Poisoned condition card
Action 2: Travel to San Francisco
– Influence -1 check to brownnose doctors – FAIL. Jacqueline decides to gain a debt condition to discard the poison card
After spending her first day in San Francisco defecating in hospital waiting room toilets, Jacqueline was finally able to see a doctor. She had been poisoned for several days now and felt like a bag full of hammered kittens. The poison coincided with her visit to the old cult building where she had received her vision that started her on this short but diarrheic journey.
The Doctor was a smug son of a bitch, who knew exactly what was wrong with Jacqueline and what to give her to counter the poison…. For a fee of course. Jacqueline couldn’t help but notice a small tattoo of a snake on the doctor’s left hand. Jacqueline closed her eyes and focused hard on the doctor and her current situation. She saw too possible futures… both morally and mentally degrading…. All the visions in the nine hells were not going to get her out of this one so Jacqueline did what any self-loathing, supernatural modern day woman would do her in her predicament. She took out a small loan with a very poor interest rate.
As Jacqueline was leaving the hospital and wondering how she was going to get enough money for a half decent hotel in the cursed city she heard the sound of screaming.
Look out! Screamed a beat cop as he tried to steer a 6,000 pound elephant away from a crowd of ignorant onlookers. Two men with large mustaches were following after the beast with heavy hemp ropes. Both managed to lasso their ropes over the elephants head.
What in bloody blue blazes?
Jacqueline tried to sense the situation but there was no time. The rampaging elephant was headed right for her. She ducked behind a sturdy looking mailbox and watched in surprising bewilderment as the two mustached men were dragged behind the massive creature. Just as one managed to get his footing and pull on his end of the rope the other mustached man was flung up high into the air and landed hard down on a 1921 Blue Rolls-Royce. His arm bent at a disgustingly crooked angle and Jacqueline cringed. She hoped he didn’t have to see the same snake doctor that treated her poison.
Now the one mustached man was battling to subdue the elephant alone. Gathering her courage, Jacqueline ran out into the street and picked up one of the ropes tied to the elephant’s neck. Before it could fling her up into the air and onto another luxurious automobile, Jacqueline ran ahead of the beast until she had enough slack in the rope to wrap it around a good sized tree.
The elephant came to a sudden halt as the rope tightened around the tree. The elephant pulled and tugged but soon calmed down once it realized it was tethered once more. The mustache man quickly pulled out a carrot and with a few soothing words had the beast eating right out of his hand.
Curling his mustache between his fingers with a dab of wax from his ears, the mustache man approached Jacqueline and frowns at his brother groaning in agony a few parked cars back.
Zank You for ze azziztance! I vould be honored to ezcort you to supper Mein Fraulien! I vould zeem zat mein Bruder vill not be able to make de rezervation I did for uz.
Jacqueline smiles and does not sense any danger from the mustache man.
Can anyone say Meal Ticket!!
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